Sleep. It's what's for breakfast

Monday, December 24th, 2007

Daily Horoscope Overview

Today retrograde Mars comes closest to the Earth in its current cycle as it opposes the Sun. We are caught in the tension between our firm resolve to get things done in a timely fashion (Capricorn Sun) and a procrastinating wait-and-see attitude (Cancer Mars). We may not be able to maintain a smooth rhythm as we impulsively initiate action to catch up. The emotional Cancer Moon adds depth to our feelings, making them even more difficult to express.

As i sit here, unable to sleep for yet another night, I start to ponder what the source of the problem may be. I was thinking back to my early college years, when I had to take time off. I had sleeping problems then, and we're talking '03-'04. I remember being at Oney with my roomie Tasha turning in at 2, and then waking up a few hrs later to find me sitting at my desk, watching Bad Boyz 2 on some sick repeat mode, because sleep just wouldnt come. That summer, Cleva and Verne spent countless nights trekking out to my house to keep me company in the wee hours. We'd talk talk talk until we all eventually passed out, them accomplishing their goal of getting my ass to sleep.

Currently, as i continue to sit here, I'm chatting with Leah who happens to be awake because of her mom. It's nice to have someone up with me at such an ungodly hour, as unexpected as it may be. I've been awake so now that i'm not even tired anymore. I'll be up when the 'rents awaken. And they'll ask as they always do, and i'll confirm & go right back to whatever i happen to be doing.

I'm actually concerned now as to why I have such trouble sleeping, particularly since I realized how long it's been going on. I asked my PCP (primary physician) about my sleep problems, and she said she didnt see the need to prescribe any sleeping pills or anything, even though i informed her that it's been going on for like 6 months (as i thought). So i continue to sleep sporadically and gain a deeper understanding of the connection some people have with coffee and other early-morning caffeinated drinks.

Speaking of doctors, they suck. Particularly HIP doctors…as a whole. I found it odd that a doctor that was supposed to be calling me with a referral, never found the time to call me back, even after I left like 6 messages over a 3 week period. So finally, I decided f3ck this, and called the actual center back. I spoke to a different doctor, who said to me “since this location is shutting down, your case will probably be closed.” Good, happy to know that me coming in and sitting with the “doctor” for almost two hours was a colossal waste of my time. And then, to put a nail in the coffin, she says to me “do you want me to find a number for you to maybe call somewhere else?” Well, if wouldn’t inconvenience you too much…I’d appreciate it. It made me concernicus for the people in these “doctors” care that were/are actually of the suicidal variety. God knows what happens to them when doctors suddenly decide patients don’t matter anymore.

I’m back to square one as far as the whole thing goes. While sitting up chatting with Leah, I went back to WebMd and searched the symptom checker for sleep issues of all kinds – trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, restless sleep. Five things came up repeatedly – Anemia, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, and Insomnia. If only I had a doctor that was willing to take the time to test me for something, I might know definitively what the source of my sleep problem is. Then I can rectify it…with a vengeance.

I cant wait to find out who fulfills this----->

Monday, December 24th, 2007 PST

Libra Horoscope

Someone isn't being totally honest with you now and may even be working against your good intentions. If you do discover that a friend isn't being supportive, don't lash out. Take what you learn in stride. Making others feel guilty will only worsen your cause. Be thankful that you know what's going on, for what you don't know can hurt you.