February 25th

Along with about 8 million other people, I was glued to Fox during the 8 o clock hour. Because that had to be the most private traumatic thing ever to be publicized so widely. Of course I'm talking about the Moment of Truth, the episode even the host said he didnt think should have been aired. The questions that were asked, in succession, for her to earn 100K & 200K were horrifying - the most personal i've seen the show get to date. As I sat watching, I wanted her so badly to just get up and leave, take what money she had and just go. Mark kept suggesting it to her before every question. And I know it hurt even more for her to lose it all on a simple question - "Do you think you're a good person". I now know that I could never go on this show. That was not the way for these things to come out. Producers did not stack the deck in her favor at all. Her marriage is through.



After over a year with this thing, my laptop is now officially useless to me, just like the other 2. And just like the other two, it was my carelessness in leaving it out in the reach of people that did it in. Third time's the charm. I know MUCH better not to have expensive or necessary things out when people are near. Three laptops, two playstations...it will not happen again. Absolutely not - under no circumstances. I am really beyond pissed and I cant even put on a front that i'm not. My house now has no internet access because, go figure, we were using my computer for everything with mother's being viral infected. I was using it for the little school work I was doing, which is now trapped on the laptop that cant be charged. And seeing as how its spring break, right before midterm week, the school lab is not. open. Additionally, I was using my laptop to charge my phone. Guess where it is now. In my drawer until further notice. The sheer knowledge of the bullshit gave me a headache so immense that i got dizzy. Cant even discuss it anymore.

Last night in the car heading to pick up my mother, my father asks me if i'd like to go down south and live with my sister. To which i promptly replied 'i'd end up killing her in her sleep'. He then proceeded to ask about me going out to Cali with my brother. I had no objections to that, I just made it plainly clear that I wouldnt be listening to him, as he is a 42 year old teenager, and I have no time for the added stress. I would live there, pay out some rent and go to work. No other association necessary. The next bit of info he volunteered was that he was actually planning to invest in the bit of land we have in the south. He intends to put two trailers (or something to that sort) on it, and use it as some sort of vacation home for the family. Evidently he's been diverting half of his social security and pension checks to this project for the past few months. I cant help but wonder what has suddenly made him decide that maybe a change of venue is a good idea. Maybe it has to do with him finding me sitting alone on the terrace so often during night hours as of late.

There was a quote I heard once - "Good luck is just bad luck with its hair combed". Do you think that's true?


Richard Cory

I wonder what it is about this read. Its without a doubt my favorite poem. I recall it to mind in an instant. I can remember every detail of it, to the ending, just short of having it completely memorized. And its stuck with me since sophomore year of high school. i'm still at a loss as to why.

Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean-favoured and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good Morning!" and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich, yes, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine -- we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread,
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet in his head.

Edwin Arlington Robinson

Be Kind Rewind

the original


Sex Sells

So why does the FCC object so vehemently?


Times get Hard

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but i feel compelled to share. Yesterday, during my Valentine's Day Out, i had some aggravating and interesting experiences. One involved T-mobile, the other, my place of residence.

While at tmobile, all of the customers as well as employees were captivated by one particular scene involving an employee and a couple of cops. As we all stare as nosy as can be, we're all thinking somebody went thieving. While being checked out, it is however revealed (by another employee) that this poor guy was being served at his place of business. These particular cops came to his job to serve him divorce papers. The guy behind the register took the time to reveal to a couple of total strangers that this guy (who was served) had been spotted by his significant, with another woman. Needless to say, his day was done.

Coming home from my adventures on the MTA system that i despise thoroughly, I was exposed to the side of the world that I hate. Normally, when someone has their ears plugged with headphones, music blaring, and they are busy typing to 8 different people via aim, others in the world know "Do Not Disturb". Not this particular O-boy. This particular O-boy chooses to repeatedly distract me, asking me questions about the sidekick nation because some gizmo website that keeps him updated on technology, has evidently failed at its only job in the universe. He thinks my slide is a 3, problem one. He doesnt know why my phone even exists, problem two. He swears the sidekick 3 came out last year and that I must be living in some parallel universe where technology is advanced, problem...three. Not to mention that I'm not a fan of 'hood' folks. Especially in my neighborhood. Especially given the history of the kids (because they were 4 yrs younger than me) that I grew up with. To my utter joy, this O-boy (his name began with an O) is interested in my name & my place of residence. Of course my name is Marie....it is my name after all. He gets off the bus with me and *gasp* lives in the building near mine. As he inquires of my knowledge of a 'Nat' & a 'Cash', I solidify my assumption that indeed, this is hood. It is at this point that i graciously give him my old phone number (sorry to whoever has it now) and walk away. I very much look forward to escaping. this place.

In other news, Gladiators Finale....wow. Go Monica and The-fastest-man-alive whose name I forget. As for the other specialty of Sunday night, KNIGHT RIDER RETURNS!!!! Cant wait for the show to start...I wish i knew when it did. The Shelby GT is sexy in Lavender.


Tiny and Cute

I know i've been talking her up alot lately, but I just cant help it.
it's so. cute.

"I didn't want any surprises. Honestly, I didn't want any [vaginal] tearing. I had heard horror stories of women going in and having to have an emergency C-section [anyway]. The hardest part was deciding on his birthday. I wanted to leave it up to fate, but at the same time I was ready to be done early!"

- Christina Aguilera, on giving birth to baby Max

...stolen from Perez


Nostalgia strikes again

i dont know why, but in the middle of class today, as i was staring out the window into nothingness, i suddenly (and desperately) wanted to be back in RFK. Whether they are willing to admit it or not, things were simpler then. And stuff was just incredibly easy, not including the actual classwork. Alot of great friendships came out of those 2-3 years. And most of the ones I saw, still exist now. Prime example --->

With the exception of Gordon, these guys have been friends as long as i've known them...12 years. Gordon even joined 9 years ago. I watched them grow up and mature and become the intelligent and handsome guys they are today. I miss my girls just as much. It saddens me that our physical distance has kept us from being as tight as I am with these guys. But I love them just the same. Some days I wish i could go back, relive such good times, and way more emphatically. I was such a...shell back in the day. Here's to my RFK boys (including the m.i.a. Stokes), thanks for making the best of Jr high and high school too =0)

Happy Valentine's Day


Because i've been so biased lately...

here's something for my mail readers...and every bi person out there. ;-)


Breast Deduction

So it has come to light recently, that if I get a breast reduction, the masses are going to converge upon me and burn me at the stake. Quote Nate - "breast reduction...that's like giving away free money cuz my pockets are too full". Evidently, it would be quite a slap in the face of society as we know it for me to toy with the natural order and understanding that is my massive rack. People would disown me and weep in the streets. I didnt realize my pillows had such an effect on the lives of so many people. Thanks guys. =0p

Spoofs of Yore

From the minds of Scary Movie....and Scary Movie 2....and Scary Movie 3.....and Scary Movie 4....and Date Movie.....and Epic Movie...and Meet The Spartans (aka Epic Movie dos), comes another edition to the evergrowing populace of Spoofdom. I give you - Superhero Movie, starring
Drake Bell.

Hooray for casting off the shadowy chains that are Disney and Nickelodeon


Natural 'bigness' can be scary

The lightest of all, my marine Militia, at 6'3" 220lbs

sexy ass Toa at 6'3", 240lbs (he's The Rock's cousin after all)

do you see his thighs? dear God....6'3", 251lbs, next-gen Titan

he's the 6'4", 225lbs Wolf (Arooooo)

6'5"....230lbs Mayhem

and this monster Justice is 6'8"...290lbs

He's hot

and a super fantastic dancer.

Go see Step Up 2....if not for the repetitive storyline, for the unnatural dance moves he's adapted from Wade Dobson and his martial arts training. These people make me wish I had dance talents from birth. Go see it. Go support him. He's awesome...and funny.


Why do superbowl parties

when you can do birthday parties instead?

(thats the birthday girl front and center)

...we have fun when we can =0)


Never ceasing amazement

her son did naught to her body. And i'd still totally do her. Go X-tina


Revelations: The Sequel

I've come to alot of realizations, conclusions and...things in the past few days. Its amazing. And all I had to do was keep my mouth shut and let everyone else talk.

1) My father told me without meaning to, that he actually did manage to cheat on my sis/bro's mom, and had my other 'brother' the year after my sister, & b4 big brother. A. mazing. I was tempted to ask how their mom felt about it, but he tends to get 'cautious' when my mom's around so i have chosen to save it for another day.

2) The source of my depression hit me ridiculously hard just yesterday. Due to issues that I cant let go of and problems that I cant fix or get rid of, I sit in a hole that just gets bigger every day. No one else (including laughable therapy) was able to put together that alllll of those things are the reasoning behind me wanting to move as far away from here as possible and never look back. I'm sitting here staring at my issues and problems daily..having them thrown repeatedly into my face or nagging at me whenever my mind is able to wander - which is increasingly more often. That being another problem, since I'm unable to escape, I've thrown every bit of my energy into the one thing that I'm in control of and that I can change - ergo my new weight obsession. i've so far lost 4lbs this week, and I need to lose 2 more by saturday. Dont even ask why. I have to be 155 by May 13th. No room for error.

3) Money management actually is a genetic thing. My father's whole side of the family sucks with money. Their priorities are shit. Absolute shit. He repeatedly 'forgets' to pay the rent, but continues to play his numbers, get his nails done, and hit olive garden twice a week. Sister dearest gets money sent to her and manages to 'lose' evidence that she paid taxes on a house that the family owns. Cant fuck with the govt though, so when they come knocking, she remembers that she actually spent it on a new living room. what a shame. Big brother, in the most amazing act of a father ever, spends his and his son's money on sneakers, hoodies, coats, and weed. A 43 year old reckless teenager...god awful. I cannot and will not b a product or part of any situation like that. Ever. I just absolutely refuse to become my mother. Not gonna have my hard-earned money siphoned away when I can stop it.

4) It is pointless for me to ask for specific 'gifts'. I use quotes because it isnt always a gift situation, sometimes I get 'is there anything u want'? Why is it unnecessary? Because when u do ask for sumthing specific, the request is highly ignored or put down. In the last year, I've asked for a Mario album, 'J' earrings, a camera, a Wii, and a PS2 which is disgustingly inexpensive compared to the new-gen. I ended up buying the album and the earrings as gifts to myself. decided to leave the Wii until next year, and i'm getting the ps2 together now.

I will own this camera by the end of the year. And i'm officially not accepting anything else for gifts. Unless its $ that can be put toward me getting this camera, it can wait until next year. Period. I'm now in the business of being proactive and wont allow anything to be wasted. Thats my resolution for 2008.


Biggest Upset in History

I hereby decree that every announcer (and my father) who said that the Giants could not, would not beat the Pats, and in fact would LOSE by a margin greater than 13, can now bite it. Even as a die hard Patriot fan, I knew that the Giants had a shot (did no one actually watch the last game of the regular season????). Any fans on either side of the fence that doubted should be ashamed. What a game...I couldnt be happier that the Giants won...they made their mark against (in my opinion) the best team out there. Go Eli, Go Michael, Go Giants. Except Plexiglass...even if he got the winning touchdown, I still strongly dislike him. Shoulda been Toomer, Word. Go everyone but glass-boy. ^_^

The Patriots can do their perfect season next year. In contrary to the Bears that did it years ago, no one will forget this season, no matter how hard they try.

and Yankee fans, the Giants winning does not validate your team's loss....Giants won for the Giants. You should try beating Boston in your own right... Patriots should be proud. They helped create some Giants history.