2008 Preparations

So mom's last day of work is January 18th. She's known for about a month now, they told everyone on the 17th who was being laid off for the new year. She's been with them since 2001, and she has no idea what she's gonna do now. She's planning on using her unemployment until it ends, and maybe milking for extra hours on her night job. It saddens me that she doesnt expect to get work anywhere else, and its just cuz of her age (she'll be 62 in february). It saddens me more that she's walking around acting as if things dont bother her. Watching her, I see where I get alot of my 'hide your problems' mentality. I've done research into some alternate methods of money-making..some a little more...unethical than others. I'm crossing my fingers that something works out and I can at least keep bills paid off for a little bit. We're currently driving the car illegally. I'm trying not to be too burned out about it, but i'm a little scared because the last time we had issues, I ended up missing a semester of school. If i have to miss again, i'm forfeiting and handing in the towel. They didnt even do college, why would it be a big deal for me to quit?

I'm up kind of late again...it's custom now. I'm beginning to believe that my weight loss is actually due to stress now more than anything else. I lost another 3lbs today, and I ate. I'm also...working on ignoring my problems completely. Evidently, they're getting the best of me, and taking over (some with reason). I cant help but worry alot. It's weird and scary because it seemed as though things were, stable? when I was younger. But as i've gotten older and the need to sugarcoat life has dissipated, more and more is coming to light. I've chosen to not hate my "siblings" anymore. They are who they are. Also, I guess i'm more understanding of my grandmother as well. Her and her ways I wont even get into though.

*Friday, December 28th, 2007

Libra Horoscope

You have an abundance of fantasies today, yet it could be rather difficult to talk about them, even if you think they are logical. You are feeling more private now and would rather endure emotional solitude than show too much vulnerability. Establishing boundaries may be a healthy thing, but don't stay isolated too long.


I've never seen a more perfect horoscope. I do feel the need to, withdraw a bit. I think it keeps me from a nervous breakdown or 2. Emotions are hard...i've been feeling them hella intensely. When i get angry or upset or sad or giddy about something, i go extreme. Even I notice it now. All the more reason for "solitude". I'm not sure how to look at the glass that is 2008.