More than one road

SO, happy news (to me), maybe a little less to others. But a goal is a goal. Other news, sad news, business as usual. Since i'm not sure how to get to it all, i'll just list.

1) Christmas was...just another day. Really and truly. I wish i could've been able to score the suit I need, or ma's computer so she can type-practice...which will hopefully lead to a job next yr (cross your fingers). But things just didnt work out the way I'd have liked to. Maybe next Christmas will find a different story. It's a shame money isnt a 'righteous' gift anymore. It's official that i'm an adult. Thank goodness I have new year's to look forward to.

2) My sleeping disorder has gotten a tad bit worse. I made it into bed at 7 this morning, sleep by 730, up by 12. Its become my new thing. I dont even concern myself with it anymore, its a fixture. My mother got up for work at 6 and found me cleaning my room and then working out hard-fucking-core. I figure, if i'm going to be up all night, why not involve myself with everything possible? Put the nighttime to good use I say.

3) Because I was up, out, and busy handling business all day, i neglected to eat, A fact that didnt bother me until my tummy started to gurgle at about...9 or so this evening. Due to some...unfortunate series of events (mostly me boycotting all fast food on a whole. i'm sorry New Jack. lol), I will inevitably get through this day without eating at all. But then two things happened (this is where some of u may get iffy, while I continue to say 'hooray'). 1- I hopped on the scale and have (so far) lost 5lbs 2oz...today alone. Ballin, i know. 2- The thought of food, even imagining the smell, actually made me nauseous. Like i physically gagged. Which immediately took away any desire my stomach had to eat in the 1st place. Works for me.

4) I've officially deduced that....minimal sleep, forgoing eats, and throwing yourself into work and working out, will get the job done, in a pretty short amount of time even. you can all question it if u want...the proof is in the pudding. I'm gonna be fierce when I get on that cruise....

5) One of my friends, going back to grade school, lost her child on Christmas Eve. And although I am not close to her, I dont think anyone deserves to lose something as precious as a child. My heart goes out to her and her boyfriend, it couldnt have happened at a worse time. However short his time was here, he's in a greater place now, i'm sure of it.

6) Father dearest told me a great coming of age tale. A tale that, quite literally, encompasses the time I almost didnt exist. Follow along - Once upon a time, when he was 17 (back in his smoking days), daddy dearest was a bit of a thief. He stole...a few things, things to help get him by at home. On this particular night, he was siphoning gas. As he siphoned gas into his carrying bucket, he thought he'd check on the status. (imagine a big tide container, costco/BJ's variety). So he reached into his pocket, and lit his lighter, holding it over the opening of the container. Within the same second, the wind suddenly picked up and *poof* out went the lighter. In the next few seconds it occured to him that gas was indeed very flammable, particularly when its running into a container, spilling all around said container, and in the presence of a live flame. It was at that point that he tossed his lighter, got up and took his canister with him away, realizing how idiotic his decision had been. If not for divine intervention, I wonder where I'd be. I'd be a white kid somewhere in CT i'm sure (look into and rent "The Eye 2" it explains why. deep stuff).