March 31 2005

raw soul

if there is anyone who is able to give of themselves. to reveal and let someone in wholly, fully, and completely - i envy u. no matter how much i share; despite what i *do* manage to lay bare; i will ALWAYS hold sumthing back. because like so many, i don't want 2 b judged based on parts of the whole. i wish i could be a little freer. maybe one day i will. hopefully one day soon.

Facebook for Life

what if....facebook, were real? How would u really react?

Facebook In Real Life Comedy Video Spoof

Oh. Shit.

Fuck youuuu haters. I'll be a big ass kid for this movie. I'm in the process of waiting an extra eight. months.








Sorry Edward fanatics - Twilight brand doesnt get anywhere near this good until Breaking Dawn; and its the last in the series. Harry Potter outranks you.

Your Diva

A
- Available: no =0)
- Age: 23
- Annoyance: ppl that consistently spell wrong..like spell check doesnt exist. flakes
- Animal: ocelot...
- Actor: Will Smith, Patrick Warburton, Johnny Depp
- Actress: Isla Fisher, Rachel Weisz

B
- Beer: eww beer...
- Birthday/Birthplace: Oct 4th, Rego Park, NY
- Body Part on opposite sex: eyes, hair, arms
- Best Feeling in the world: the moment right before you fall asleep..
- Been on stage?: yea
- Believe in yourself?: i do now
- Believe in life on other planets: sure
- Believe in magic: of course. its what we do ;-)
- Believe in Evolution: to a degree

C
- Car: omg i want a f3cking shelby gt 500...& a z4
- Color: blk red wht carolina blue
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla
- Chinese/Mexican: mexican
- Country: brazil
- Comedian: stephen lynch, jeff dunham, kevin hart, dane cook

D
- Day or Night: night
- Dream vehicle: i do want an aston martin also...
- Dance in the rain?: the memories...

E
- Eggs: hard boiled
- Eyes: Brown...or blue
- Everyone has: sum degree of issues
- Ever failed a class?: if u havent, or at least almost, we cant be friends

F
- First crush: Daniel...yea
- First thoughts waking up: y is it 3 already
- Food: sauteed chicken over snow peas ...yea, i'm a undercover cook

G
- Greatest Fear: the dark. f3ck you. and dying alone.
- Goals: move to CT, or DC =0)
H
- Height: 5'5.5"
- Holiday: new years
- Health Freak: no, just a good vegetarian
- Hate: know it alls. the ones that hav to be right all the time...i know 2 of them. both being male
- Heart Broken/when/who?: 3 times. once was my fault :-\

I
- Ice Cream: raspberry, cake batter, sweet cream
- Instrument: flute and drums

J
- Jewelry: tongue ring, earring, tennis bracelet, nameplate
- Job: current - dispatcher, future - admin assistant

K
- Kids: in a couple years
- Keep a journal?: 1 pvt, sum public

L
- Longest Car Ride: NY to Texas!
- Love: the people closest to me
- Laughed so hard you cried: that was just yesterday
- Love at first sight: yea, i've fallen for some babies hard-body

M
- Milk flavor: strawberry. i wish mcd would bottle that.
- Movie: Miracle st St Anna, Public Enemies, The Mummy 2, Twilight, Shutter (not american) and Bloody Reunion
- Marriage?: yea =0)
- Motion sickness?: if i was sick before i got in the vehicle
- McD's or BK: BK, fuck that
- Memory: my nephews and nieces. and that first formal

N
- Number of Siblings: 3 half siblings, 1 forced sibling, and 2 may-as-well-be siblings
- Number of Piercings: 5
- Number: zero, my hero. how wonderful u are

O
- Overused Phrase: you mad??
- Odd phobia: syringes? is that odd? i think lots of ppl fear big scary needles

P
- Places you'd like to live: santo domingo, rio, honolulu
- Pizza: green peppers & olives...yum
- Pepsi/Coke: ginger ale
- Person you miss: Camilo

Q
- Quiet music or loud: always volume up

R
- Reality TV: doesnt extend past the occasional RW/RR challenge BS
- Radio Station: 20 on 20, pop 2k
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: only once

S
- Song: 1, 2, 3, 4 - plain white Ts
- Sushi: omg i wanna go todaaaaay
- Scent: Believe - Brit Brit
- Smoked?: used to, under stress
- Skinny dipped?: yea
- Sing well?: god awful no
- Swear?: not as much as i used to.
- Stuffed Animals?: have u seeen my room?
- Strawberries/Blueberries: both dipped in cool whip

T
- Time for bed: 7-8 weekdays...whenever weekends
- Thunderstorms: are the best times to be out =0)

U
- Unpredictable: if i wanna be
- Used to play: lacrosse, soccer, tag football, hockey, flipcup, beer pong

V
- Vegetable you hate: cauliflower
- Vegetable you love: corn & peeeeas
- Vacation spot: port st lucie. it really is beautiful

W
- Weakness: old school gentlemen, firefighters, babies
- Worst feeling: embarassment, caused by outer stupidity of other ppl
- Want to be a model?: i do actually. how odd

X
- X-Rays: only every other month.

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: is for easter
-You: is tired and wired and anxious for sushi and cam's homecoming all at once! =0)

Z
- Zoo animal: Tiger
- Zodiac sign: Libra

Transit Working

Some of the perks to working for transit do make themselves known occasionally.

A few mins after one, a driver, Pedro, called to say he would not be making it back to ozone park for his pickup, because he couldnt get into the city.

"What's going on Pedro?"
"Oh, the Whitestone is falling"
"I'm sorry, did you just say the Whitestone Bridge. is falling?"
"yea, a cop just came by and said a few cars up, a piece fell"


....almost two hours later, after i've been home and we've already re-directed as much as possible, i'm just seeing articles pop up on the telly/World wide news.

amNY

NY1

But why is it you ask that Access a Ride carriers got word so fast? Because it was transit's. fault. Shame on u MTA.

...You will not jack up my metrocard fare to pay for this.

thank you George Atwell. I would like to know what phone u own. So that I may take pictures as clear as this. Feel free to share that bit of info. Much obliged.

NYTimes

Cut To Black

This is for all you Sopranos/Entourage fans out there. Dedicated. to you.

Numerology and Names

Borrowed, not taken, from the blog of Steven. Just for 5 minutes while i'm sober and recovering...



You entered: J. F. Williams

There are 22 letters in your name.
Those 22 letters total to 85
There are 8 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 4

The characteristics of #4 are: A foundation, order, service, struggle against limits, steady growth.

The expression or destiny for #4:
Order, service, and management are the cornerstones of the number 4 Expression. Your destiny is to express wonderful organization skills with your ever practical, down-to-earth approach. You are the kind of person who is always willing to work those long, hard hours to push a project through to completion. A patience with detail allows you to become expert in fields such as building, engineering, and all forms of craftsmanship. Your abilities to write and teach may lean toward the more technical and detailed. In the arts, music will likely be your choice. Artistic talents may also appear in such fields as horiculture and floral arrangement, as well. Many skilled physicians and especially surgeons have the 4 Expression.

The positive attitudes of the 4 Expression yield responsibility; you are one who no doubt, fulfills obligations, and is highly systematic and orderly. You are serious and sincere, honest and faithful. It is your role to help and you are required to do a good job at everything you undertake.

If there is too much 4 energies present in your makeup, you may express some of the negative attitudes of the number 4. The obligations that you face may tend to create frustration and feelings of limitation or restriction. You may sometimes find yourself nursing negative attitudes in this regard and these can keep you in a rather low mood. Avoid becoming too rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and fixed in your opinions. You may have a tendency to develop and hold very strong likes and dislikes, and some of these may border on the classification of prejudice. The negative side of 4 often produces dominant and bossy individuals who use disciplinarian to an excess. These tendencies must be avoided. Finally, like nearly all with 4 Expression, you must keep your eye on the big picture and not get overly wrapped up in detail and routine.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9

A Soul Urge number of 9 means:
With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.

As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

Making the Call

My mother came into my room this morning. With a straight face she said to me - "Maybe u shouldnt go out tonight, I dont want you traveling alone." The reason? Because some people backed out and decided not to participate in tonight's events anymore.

We then actually had a real serious discussion on how she keeps flip flopping between me leaving people be, and letting them dictate what I do. After she thought about it, she told me to call up some old friends and re-establish the connections we once had.

And then she said that I should get ready, go out and have a fantastic time, without regard for those that didnt show.



..and getting ready I am =0)

Forum
127 4th Ave - NYC

Angels and Kings
500 East 11th St - NYC

The Weekend

Three things:

1) Happy Birthday to Mason Stanley! You're finally legal. It only took forever...=0P

2) He's having a super hardcore blowout bash. Tonight. March 21st. It's going to be wild. A and K

3) There's guaranteed alcohol poisoning and comas in the near future. I can see it with my ESP.

Pillow Fight '09

It's always fun. I've gone the last three years =0) Who wants to go with?

Resident Evil 5

Spoilers! ...for all u hardcore gamers that love this series. I agree, it was kind of cornball-ish.

Stewie dont know

"The 2009 Volkswagen Scirocco promises to deliver what the original Scirocco did: GTi performance in a stylishly-wrapped body. It will offer three engines, possibly even VAG’s 1.4 litre “Twincharger,” a turbo-and-supercharged four-banger that doles out around 210bhp. The other two powerplants will be the 2.0 turbo four with 207-240 bhp depending on what VW does, and possibly a 280bhp V6 or VR6. Couple that with the GTI’s handling and balance and VW’s top-notch interior, and we have a home run. Right? Well, if “we” consists of the U.S., then no. “We” don’t get the Scirocco, according to VAG management. That’s too bad, because the previous Sciroccos and the Corrado were all fairly successful here. "

Family Guy knows not...f3ck u stewie =p

Remember the 80s?

Danica Mckeller - Winnie Cooper, The Wonder Years



Nicole Eggert - Jamie Powell, Charles in Charge



Julie McCullough - Mike Seaver's g/f, Growing Pains

Public Enemies - Take Two

Trailer





Previously discussed in fervor here

i'm just...too anxious. depp, bale, tatum, dorff, ribisi....jeez. I want July 1st to be tomorrow.

All of the boys and all of the girls

As my brain explodes

Family Matters - 300 Pt 2

Yesterday, as part of my job as a dispatcher, I had to go out on the road with a driver while he took a bus through the 4 important boroughs. Luckily for me, I ended up with my dad which meant that I didnt have to pay a whole lot of attention, and I didnt have to worry about being talked to death (my other option was a man who made a comment about how i wasnt skinny, but he could get with a bigger girl 'no problem'. i'm sure my dad was as close to vomiting as I was). I spent my time reading and staring out the window, occasionally engaging in convo with the passengers he picked up.

But when i'm left alone long enough, I tend to start thinking. I start looking back on the steps i've taken and where I am, reliving memories - both good and bad - and rehashing old ideas. I started thinking, really thinking, about my history. How I used to be. And, not that I'm that odd, but I used to be much more normal years ago. Thinking about it, I found the breaking point. The moment in which the Jax I am today was born. And that was a cold day in February of 1997. That was the day that my brother decided he was moving west, and taking my nephews with him.

My brother was born in 1965. I was born in 1985. His children, my nephews, were born in 1990. They were a major part of my life for 7 years. Seven years of my childhood was wrapped around them. They were, for all intents and purposes, my brothers. And although i'm sure it's nothing like a parent losing a child, it didnt change the fact that it felt to me like a part of me left with them. I just havent been the same since. I lost a giant piece of me that day and I've just never gotten it back. And the result is, I missed the biggest events of their lives, and now, of their little brothers too. Everytime I think of it I cry a little inside.

Two points in my life i'd like to go back to. One - that cold day in february. Two - the first day of high school. I'd be with my future husband to this day if only i'd made a couple better decisions in high school. Sigh, if only.

300 Stories

Happy 300 for the life and times! this is my 300th blog post. and, because it's a special occasion and it's my blog, i decided instead of randomness and news, to write about something related to me - Ms Jax Diva Poetic herself. ^_^

I looked back on my blog today, and I must say it's come a very long way. I've had support from various different people all over the globe (as noted by my stat counter), and I've even rummaged up a few followers - thanks guys =0) Always much appreciated. And now, on with the show!


Today's show is going to be about a favorite pastime of mine - broadway plays.

I don't know how i missed it, but West Side Story - my favorite musical....fuck grease and footloose and hairspray - is on broadway. WSS was the first musical I ever saw. Back in the days of St. John Neumann. When we had a music class everyday. When we were required to sing, as if we were a choir, and then play an instrument, as if we were a band. Sudden realization comes with this memory that I at one point played the flute. Good times. We sat one afternoon and watched West Side Story. And even at the age of eight, it touched my soul. i'm so desperate to go, but I'm not sure I have anyone (other than ma) that's willing and able to go see a play.

I will find a way. I will. Life will shatter otherwise.

Fiiiiinally

right Joe? lol

Court Dates

didnt he look kind of nervous? kind of real nervous?

...her name is Robin

Untitled

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never saw you, spoke to you, or held you close. Back then all I could do was think of me. I’ve thought of nothing but you ever since. I weep today, your day, as I do every year now. I miss you. I love you. Happy birthday."


© Jax Star Publications

Insight

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss....was one of the best

2. I am listening to.....Thnks Fr The Memories

3. I talk....about anything people are willing to listen to

4. I love.....music. of almost all kinds

5. My best friend.....is more tolerant of me than i give her credit for

6. My first real kiss........happened in high school. And i'll never ever actually let him know that

7. Love is......a part of life, but not all there is.

8. Marriage is......hopefully in my future.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking.....about me.

10. I'll always be grateful for....my friends and my siblings...they gave me my nephews & nieces.

11. The last time I really cried was...when he left.

12. My cell phone....i've come to realize is an extension of my hand. especially between 4am and 2pm

13. When I wake up in the morning....i groan as the clock flashes 3:10

14. Before I go to bed....i partake in a little mental preparation

15. Right now I am thinking about.....where all of these guys are coming from

16. Babies are....the best thing ever.

17. Today I.....fought hard while my drivers drove OVER snow plows to pick up dumb passengers

18. Tomorrow I will be....back at it again

19. I really want to be...a mom. I wont lie. I kind of wish I was already

20. Someone that will most likely repost this is.....no one. because this is the exclusive version. For my blog fanatics only. =0)

What's your Origin?

May 1st....do it