I cried

if you were hiding under a rug last night about 8pm...or watching lil kim dance as the case may be...





You know, every season there's one episode. last year, it was when they eliminated cutthroat bitch; even took it as far as sort of making it her fault (the meds she was taking at the time). No one truly saw that coming, no matter how much you did or didnt like her. But this year, i was truly hurt. I tuned in to house, first time since it moved to mondays, because the preview called it *that* episode of the season. looking back on it, i should have noticed that he was the only person missing from the preview while everyone else is crying. I mean, meatloaf and his heart are just filler for the real story of the episode. Kutner wasnt supposed to die. Kutner was that guy. He was just too lovable. But i guess its always the ones you least expect. No one pegged him for suicidal, especially given how lovable he was. All the funny and quirky. God it hurt to watch. And what really cemented it all - the whole 'we didnt see it coming' - was near the end. House was in his apartment, looking at photos. Photos with his parents, photos with friends, and then the last one; how i wish i could find it - a picture of him alone, a picture that seem to capture the monumental degree of sadness he must have been fighting with. It hurt. to watch.









Making me feel no better - although i'm happy for Kal - is the reason behind Kutner's dramatic departure:

"The truth is much, much nicer. According to an interview with EW's Michael Ausiello, Kal Penn has left House (and Hollywood) to work in the Obama White House. He tells Ausiello that during his time volunteering for the Obama campaign, he got to know the President pretty well and "expressed interest" in working for the administration. Now, Kal Penn will be the associate director in the White House office of public liaison. Not sure what that entails, but it sounds pretty fancy. Basically, he'll go from working with Hugh Laurie to working with President Obama, which makes him the luckiest guy on the planet."