Last night, I shared an intense conversation with someone
who has become close to me in the last couple of years. We've always had
in-depth conversation...I guess because we both have still waters running
pretty deep. But last night was especially sobering for me. He told me about
his now ex-girlfriend and what it was like, for him, to go through a
miscarriage with her. He told me how he felt, knowing he’d never hold his
daughter or see her grow up. And I could tell he was fighting back some of the
emotion of it. He also shared his understanding of what a miscarriage does to
us – the physical, the mental, the emotional. With him being so candid, it was
more than easy for me to offer my perspective and tell him of my recent
experiences with the same situation. It was simple for me to relate to his
thoughts and feelings on the situation, as well as his ex-girlfriend’s. And
likewise, by him being so open with me, he gave me insight into what it’s like
for the father involved in a miscarriage. While he was learning about
miscarriage trauma for us, I was learning about miscarriage trauma for him.
I’ve said that people go in and out of our lives for a
reason. It’s the right people that keep coming around, for one purpose or
another. I feel like he’s come back around to remind me that sometimes,
emotions can be shared. and mirrored. and support can come from the most random
of places. Our conversation was a pleasant reminder that this same support can
be provided even when we don’t ask outright. Why deny each other a shoulder to
cry on, or an arm to lean on? Fate has, at the bare minimum, made us friends
for a lifetime.
