Perspective

A white guy chose me today. It was the cutest thing ever! He knew a lot about natural hair and made a convo with me regarding it. I have never been approached by a white guy before on the street. They look and smile but they never speak! I kinda felt out of my element for a minute but it was a beautiful interaction. He politely mentioned how he loves black women. The fact that he knew about the "big chop," "transitioning," and all that shocked me. I don't even think I could hide it from him. I smiled SO hard. It was refreshing to not be approached "sideways." I was politely asked, "are you single?" as the convo went on. It made me sad to think that "damn, black guys out here don't approach me like this but this white man is coming correct."

...Is that a bad feeling to have?

Life

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it
life is beauty, admire it
life is bliss, taste it
life is a dream, realize it
life is a challenge, meet it
life is a duty, complete it
life is a game, play it
life is costly, care for it
life is wealth, keep it
life is love, enjoy it
life is mystery, know it
life is a promise, fulfill it
life is sorrow, overcome it
life is a song, sing it
life is a struggle, accept it
life is a tragedy, confront it
life is an adventure, dare it
life is luck, make it
life is too precious, do not destroy it
life is life, fight for it!

Another Day

Just another day we never forget
Life takes a turn that we don't expect
One journey ends, another is set
And I have found you are my home

One day we're lost, another we're found
So hard to know which way's up or down
Somehow we land, feet back on the ground
And I have found you are my home

Another day is done
Another setting sun
We have come home

So take my hand, their playing our song
All that we have will never be gone
One thing I know, though we travel on
Is I have found you are my home

Time

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."


With all of the unanticipated downtime from surgery, I, in my infinite wisdom, thought it wise to go back through my old journal entries and read. See how far I've come.

The problem is, I haven't really come all that far. In ten years - ten. years. - outside of a couple of college blurbs, my life has evidently only revolved around three things. One of which being my surgery/possible childless-laden future. That bothers me. No actually, that isn't what bothers me. What actually bothers me is that none of those three things has progressed anywhere. So the time spent mulling over them, attempting to make something out of them was...to what benefit?


....I feel like such a loser

Smile

Smile at what used to be
The glory and the agony
Smile at a memory
Smile at your enemies,
A smile finally saved me, found me and repaid me
For all the time that I've put in
And now I'm smiling back again

Irish

A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.


One of my newly minted Irish buddies wrote this on a note for me and attached it to Take Care Bear. Didn't even know there was a Take Care Bear and i'm a supposed Care Bear collector. I'm told that the message is a well-known Irish saying. I was also unintentionally told that I should show more interest in my Irish roots..

Either way, he allowed a little levity into what is otherwise a stressful week; to say the least.

Stop the Clock

"They say insanity is doing all the same things. And thinking that you're gonna get a different ending.'Cause I've been waiting in the storm for you. Freezing in the cold blowing wind. Can't tell my tears from the rain drops. I've been praying for a little bit of light. Listening for your love all night. With nothing but the sound of my wrist watch going tick tock tick tock tick tick tock.

Stop the clock, stop the clock"