Live As If You'll Die Today

One thing I truly haven't been doing. I feel like my life is so stagnant. "Living" and "exisiting", what's the difference? I learned it in "The Family That Preys" - once Charlotte's alzheimer's set in, and she knew that her life would be nothing but post-its and pills, she knew that she would no longer be living. She couldnt call that living when she would be dependent on everyone around her, unable to do things that she wanted; unable to remember who she was. In her eyes, she was no longer living...just coasting by. Exisiting. All i'm doing is moving day to day, going through the motions. Besides that, I dont feel i'll make it very long. Reaching old age seems a feat insurmountable in itself. Hmm...almost borrowed time. But I guess time will tell its story one way or the other. What I wouldnt give for assurance that I'll even have the chance to leave my mark. To see the world; experience life; have my own family; fall in love. The opportunity to really live. Is that so much to ask?