The week has arrived. At roughly 2 PM on Thursday, I will be checking in to Methodist Hospital. I have been trying unsuccessfully to psych myself out in regards to the whole thing. The truth of it all is, I'm really not ready to be cut open. I'm not ready to have my uterus cut open. I'm not ready to find out just how bad my case really is. And i'm not ready for the 4-week aftermath of the whole thing. I'm over the fact that I wont be celebrating my birthday. As far as birthdays go, I havent had a decent one since I was 19. I've reached the point where October 4th, is just another day of the year.
I'm not gonna sit here like everyone else, don my rose-colored shades, and pretend that it really is all going to turn out ok. Because in the reality, after the upwards of 7 or so consults I've endured with 3 different doctors, I'm more aware than I'd like to be. I wish I knew less about the whole thing, short of the "recovery time". I wish I could go into the whole thing believing it'd be 30 minutes of my life. 30 minutes is easier to stomach than 3 hours. The thought makes me nauseous...
So the next time someone says to you "hey, at least you have your health," sit back and think about it. You actually do have something there.
2 comments:
Let me know all the details, so I know when to come see you. . .
Miss u. . .olive juice
Hi, stumbled across your blog via google as I search for fibroids info and just wanted to pass along a blog you might like reading: http://www.fibroidsetc.com/black-women-fibroids
Also, Another site with good natural/holistic info to read (especially about fibroids) is this one: http://www.womentowomen.com/hysterectomyandalternatives/fibroids.aspx
Good luck and based on the dates of what you wrote -- hope your recovery goes well!
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