Clarity

Don't have expectations of people, they never live up to them.






Most people would view that negatively, but she makes a good point. There's a positive to it. I started thinking about it like my nephews. They're autistic. People look at them and wonder why they can't "be normal". But...they are normal. Perfectly fine. Not that the world is one giant developmental disorder, but you can't expect oodles from someone and then be perturbed when they don't measure up. People will be who they are. They rarely - if ever - change. And if they do it's for a fundamental reason, not because you thought they would.















 
 The older I get, the more grateful I am for my choices in education and the more I want to learn. Once you take off the rose-colored glasses and see the world for what it really is, you learn to flow with it. And wonderful things are the end result.

Feelings

I'm...confused. Well, not really confused, that's a lie. I've never been clearer in my direction and what I want. I think it's just loneliness. Likely due to 30 looming so close. I had plans for where I wanted to be in life by 30. They weren't even outrageous plans like living in a bel-air mansion or owning a fortune-700 company (fortune-500? that's 20th century talk). I just wanted to be married (or engaged), working my dream job, at the end of the day going to my own home. My home. 

I feel like I'm back on that island from 2008. Except with age comes experience, awareness. I know more now. And it's so painfully obvious how quiet this island has been. 

I guess I am confused. I thought there would be progression. I still feel stagnant. 

...maybe I'm just a late bloomer like my mom