10.19.2008

Making Peace

For years, I've defined myself by my past. What I did, didnt do, should've done...what happened, who I met, made friends with, passed over. You hear growing up that, what you do helps shape who you are, and I'd say that's pretty true. For me at least. I had a hard time getting through school as a result. I felt detached, trapped in my own little world, like I was going nowhere. And I think it's because I resented so much of my past. I made alot of stupid choices, in some cases became friends with the wrong people. I didnt speak when I should have, missed out on way too much. Something flipped this year and things changed for me. Although I still resent a lot of it, I've made peace with the past. I've even let some go. It has given me an entire new outlook on things and people. I dont worry about as much as I used to, going with the flow is way easier. As an unexpected side effect, I think I care less/put less weight on what I hear and see. Whatever will be, will be right? Making peace with the past keeps you from making a mess of the present. And I cant allow anything else to be made a mess.

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